Its only took me about two months to read it, but I finished it!! And then it only took me about another two months to sit down and write a review about it. I’m talking about “Shacking Up: The Smart Girl’s Guide to Living in Sin Without Getting Burned”, by Stacy and Wynne Whitman. I got wind of this book from Make Love, Not Debt and ”her” review on it (the money talk, at least), and decided that (even though I wasn’t looking to shack up any time soon) I needed to read this…you know, just in case.
I’m no good at doing these reviews, but I just wanted to share it with those who might be interested, or could really use this book but haven’t realized that they do. 
I’ll just go over their chapter breakdown and maybe touch on my favorite (and least favorite) sections.
Chapter 1: You’re Thinking of Doing WHAT?!?!
Chapter 2: Making the Decision
Chapter 3: Ten Things to Do Before Packing your Bags
Chapter 4: Setting up your new digs
Chapter 5: Money Matters
Chapter 6: Legalese for Live-Ins
Chapter 7: Keeping the Connection
Chapter 8: Do I Hear Wedding Bells?
Chapter 9: Breaking up is hard to do
Chapter 10: Live-Ins for Life and Other Special Circumstances
I think the most useful chapters for me, considering my current situation (no plans to move in together for now, but I definitely think its in the future at some point) was the second chapter. It more or less just opens your eyes to the possible outcomes, goes over a general list of things to think about that maybe hadn’t crossed your mind before, and even has a compatibility quiz you can take! Its very light reading and keeps you amused throughout, however the pop culture references threw me off at times (unfortunately this means that girls reading this 5 or more years from now will have NO CLUE what they’re talking about….”Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were married?!I You mean there was someone else before Brangelina?” ) therefore dating the book quite a bit.
My least favorite part was Chapter 6: Legalese for Live-Ins. Too much technical talk made it harder to read through, although if I was looking to shack up in the near future I probably would’ve paid more attention, and maybe not have been as bored. I’m sure they put it in there for a reason though…must be important, right?
Some points that I took away from this book:
-Not everyone is going to be as thrilled about this as you are (i.e. your parents!)
-DON’T shack up for “convenience” (i.e. to save money)
-DON’T shack up with someone until you’ve been dating at least 1 year (or more, if you ask me)
-Make sure you both have the same intentions (do you both want this to eventually turn into marriage? Are you ok with the idea of being “lifetime shackers”?)
There’s so much other stuff that is touched upon in there, but I won’t try and go into more detail…what would be the point of reading the book then? Seriously, I think you should pick this up if you’re even thinking about shacking up in a year or two. It never hurts to start thinking about it before its standing right in front of you and you have to make a rash decision! Maybe this is just my over-planning paranoid self talking though.
If anyone else has read this book and wants to add in their two cents, feel free to do so!
August 14, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Cool book. I may write the male version. I write about how to cheat, hide money and get around the restrictions of a relationship. I am going to read the book you have recommended.
August 14, 2008 at 3:51 pm
What?!! Why would you want to write about that?! lol…If its that “restricting” for you, “man up” and get out of it!
August 14, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I read this book when my ex and I were planning on moving in together and I also found it helpful. One of the best points about the book is that the laws regarding living together vary from state to state, but that 7-year common law marriage is mostly a myth. I think the legal chapter is incredibly important, though not the most interesting.
I watched someone very close to me go through a divorce before age 25. They’d wanted to move in together, but their families pressured them to get married instead. While their relationship would likely still have ended and that would have been painful, it wouldn’t be the legal mess it is now. I will not marry someone unless I live with them first, but I’m also not ok with being lifetime shackers (something that had never occured to me before).
August 15, 2008 at 9:57 am
I wish I had this book a year and a half ago, and I put it on my list to read now. My bf and I moved in togetehr and it was a disater. We ended up breaking up and he moved out. And then a month later, we realized that we really did want to be together, but we moved intogether way too soon. Right now, he is talking about moving back in together, but I am a little hesitant about it. I am reading this book first and giving us more time to be sure we can handle living together again.
August 15, 2008 at 10:47 am
I lived with my college boyfriend (and first love and everything) for almost four years. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” When we broke up, moving out of our house was still one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It felt like we were going through a divorce. We had a dog together and everything. I’m thinking of moving in with my boyfriend now (whom I’ve been dating for two years), but I want to make SURE it’s the right thing and that we are heading in a certain direction (i.e., marriage). And the book is right–your family will almost certainly disapprove, although that’s not necessarily a bad thing–it forced me to grow up and realize that I was 20 years old and needed to make my own adult decisions. My grandmother still makes snarky comments about it occasionally, and my dad called me a “slut” when I first moved in with Kris. Lovely.
August 20, 2008 at 12:33 am
Don’t you think if you have to take a compatibility quiz, you aren’t ready? That’s my quiz right there!
I enjoyed this review. My family wouldn’t really care, but his might.
I kind of think saving money is a valid reason to “shack up”, provided you are on the same page about everything. Maybe I’m to pf minded!
August 20, 2008 at 9:02 am
@SP: Haha…too true about the quiz! (I think its just there to poke fun at quizzes, because the “wrong” answers are painfully obvious, lol)
I don’t think “saving money” is a bad reason…I just don’t think it should be the FIRST reason to move in together. Like you said…you need to be on the same page on everything else, and then saving money is a big plus.
August 20, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Nice review – I don’t think you’re bad at it at all. However….
I agree with SP that if you have to take a compatibility quiz, thats quiz enough!
Sometimes the situation is right and everything else falls into place. I’ve only been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year, and we started living together after about 5 months. We talked about our options – but in the long run it just seemed silly to spend twice as much on rent when we knew that I would always be at his place or him at mine. So I also agree that saving money is a good reason to shack up! As long as everything else is working properly!
It takes a lot of patience and compromise to live with someone. I hope the book mentioned that