I’m one of those people who hate it when someone tries to tell me how to do something. One of the things I HATE is when my mother tells me what I should or shouldn’t eat. If I’m having just a corner of a brownie she’ll look at me and say “you shouldn’t eat that. You’ll never lose weight if you’re going to eat brownies all day long.” [Arrrgh!!] My reaction? #1 I wasn’t eating brownies “all day long”, #2 I’m going to eat this damn brownie JUST TO SPITE YOU!! Moral of the story: I HATE it when someone tell me not to do something, even if they’re just trying to help.

 The problem is, I do it too! And I can’t stand myself for it.  Example: I’m trying to cut down on spending and clutter in my life right now. So when I go out with my mom and aunt it becomes an internal battle for me.  (Note: I live with my mom, so incidentally her clutter interferes with my living arrangements as well.) It usually turns into something like this….

Mom: Oh, wow, look at these lovely serving plates

Aunt: Oh yes, they certainly are lovely…and they match your dishes [the ones that she never uses!!!!]

Me: Mom, you don’t really need that. You already have tons of nice and silver serving dishes. Where are you going to store them?

Mom: But I don’t have casual serving plates. And these match my other plates

Me: But you never use those other plates!!! You have perfectly good serving plates that go well with EVERYTHING!

Aunt: But she can start using those plates, and the table would look so nice matching

Me: But do you really need those serving plates?!!

…And so on. Before I know it I’m getting angry and frustrated, and everyone thinks I’m a jerk for not letting my mom buy those plates (which she will probably put on her credit card, at that). Another note: my mom has the same problem with “stuff” and clutter that I do, and we’ve talked/complained to eachother about those issues!

Another example, my boyfriend went back to school so he has no income. He thinks it is his duty to buy food for everyone in his family and charge it on his card (when his parents and his sibling have jobs of their own). I understand he wants to help out, but he’s running up hundreds of dollars in debt with his sense of duty, when he also needs money to pay for his car. I made the mistake of pointing this out to him once. =[

 I guess I know I can’t meddle, and its not going to help them if I turn into a nag….but how do you deal with this?!! I can see trouble coming, should I just sit back and watch it happen?

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