Last night we were hanging out with some friends, and a recurring (for us) topic came up…the topic of living with our parents. There were four of us: me, my BF, a guy friend, and a girl friend. All four of us have that in common, we live with our parents, and not entirely by choice. We’re part of what they are now calling the “boomerang generation“.
Something we all agreed on was what living with our parents is negatively affecting how we feel about ourselves. Personally, I feel like a bum, and I won’t ever be able to feel like an adult until I leave my parents home. Our guy friend pointed out that he feels its really interfering with his personal/social life. He can’t bring home friends, much less dates because of his meddling mother (I’ve never met her so those are his words, not mine!). And now that his brother will be getting married he sees his chances of moving out soon slowly dwindling…he feels an obligation to help his mother financially, and can’t see how that could happen AND have his own place. (Plus she’s making him feel guilty for leaving her alone in the apartment.) Our girl friend also feels an obligation to stay at home and help out her parents, since they sometimes struggle to make ends meet. And again she finds it discouraging that housing so expensive in this city.
Nowadays there isn’t that same stigma there once was attached to living with your parents, and that has made it a bit easier…but its still a blow to my confidence (and sanity) at times. For me, its not just about wanting to have friends over at any hour, or to come home at any hour of the night (I kinda do that already)…its more about having my space. I have a relatively good relationship with my parents, and I spend A LOT of time with my mom, but a girl needs space…otherwise it just turns into a nearly-grown woman being attached at the hip to her mother (and thats no good!). I disagree with a lot of things my parents do, both with money and around the house. I can’t stand their bickering and arguing over every little thing, I can’t stand the way they leave food bits or paper towels and whatnot in the sink, and I can’t stand the way we accumulate junk and clutter in the house. ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY!! Granted, I’m not perfect, but I’d like the liberty to make my own messes in my own way. My mind can no longer fully function with the clutter, and their personal/marital issues are starting to affect ME. I sound like a brat, but I’ve put up with this for too long. When you’re a kid you go with what you’re given, but I’m practically an adult, right? I’ve digressed…to go back to my initial point, a girl needs her space, so I need to move out.
Like I said, there isn’t so much stigma anymore…I know many people in this city that live at home with their parents, but I can’t help but feel left behind when the majority of my college friends are out living on their own (not to mention so many PF bloggers out there!) I suppose I’m just comparing what I have and don’t have with that of others again, but its hard not to.
No matter what happens, my goal remains to be living on my own by my 25th birthday, and I still have a year before that happens. I like to think that if everything goes according to plan moving out could be possible by the end of this year though. =]