How serious are people about deal breakers nowadays?

I’m genuinely curious. I was thinking to myself about this yesterday, and at this point in my relationship what would it take for me to take a deal breaker seriously?

Example: I’ve always said if my boyfriend cheated on me I’d break up with him on the spot. No questions asked, no chance #2, nothing. Just a goodbye. However, a few weeks ago I had a close encounter with this. No, he didn’t cheat on me, but for a good 15 seconds I almost thought he had (yeah, its not as exciting as it sounds. If you must know I’ll explain it further down**.) My point is that for less than 15 seconds my life flashed before my eyes and I was preparing myself to decide if I would stay with him if indeed he had cheated. I never had a chance to answer it, and in all honesty I’m not sure what I would decide. Yes, it would SUCK, yes he’d be a cheating asshole….but damn, 5 years down the drain in one fell swoop? Because of his dumbass mistake everything as I know it would come crashing down? It sounds dramatic, but I’ve put in a lot to this relationship and it would HURT to have to let it all go.

I couldn’t really think about many other “deal breakers” for me (I know I can think of a few, but I don’t want to bore you)…but what are yours?

Has anyone ever had to break off a relationship because of a deal breaker? Do you have any that sound silly, but you wouldn’t be able to live with?

 

**Explanation to why for 15 seconds I thought my BF had cheated on me:

[Edited from original post with a more accurate play-by-play re-enactment]

Last month my boyfriend had to go on a trip for work…on a cruise. (Who has business trips on cruises anyway?!! Well, he does apparently…but I digress…) I was a little pissy about him having to go, as I’ve never been on one, plus there are always girls and liquor on cruises. (Thats my insecure side taking over).

So when I called my boyfriend on my drive home from work in the afternoon, you can imagine my reaction at what he said. First of all “I think I’m hungover”. And then after a few other words he goes onto say “I did something stupid, but I want to tell you in person.” WHAT?!! I thought he was joking, so I threw in a silly something (actually, it was “you’re not pregnant, are you?!”) Eventually he told me “well I don’t want to tell you while you’re driving.” At this point I’m thinking holy shit, he’s serious! What did he do? Did he cheat on me? Was he partaking in illegal activity? Doing drugs? (just so happens to be another one of my dealbreakers) And I swear I’m going to cry (and I can NEVER control my voice when I want to cry). He distracts me, talking about his coworkers with him on the cruise…blah, blah, blah….until I couldn’t take it any longer. Trying to sound non-chalant I ask “ok, so what’s this dumb thing you did?!!!” I brace myself to receive the worst news…

“I left my sunglasses on the ship!”

I wasn’t sure if I should be furious that he just made me go through those 15 seconds of hell, or if I should be relieved…either way, it wasn’t a totally dumb move on his part (other than the fact that he could have made me crash into something). I had given him the sunglasses for his birthday with his prescription and they also happened to be designer, and I’m sure (as he knew) that I probably would’ve been pissed. Instead I was relieved that he’s not a scumbag.

So thats my story. I still get pissed when I think about it, mostly because for a second there I actually believed he was capable of cheating on me….but thats enough material for a whole other post on its own.

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