As I might’ve mentioned before, much of last week was spent visiting the new baby in the BFs family. Its been his first week out of the hospital, so naturally we went over to the mother’s house to visit.

This is going to sound horrible, but….I don’t like carrying babies. I’m not sure if its because I feel like I’m completely full of germs, or if its because I’m scared of dropping it, but I don’t like carrying newborn babies. They were trying to urge me to carry the baby, but I kept refusing….is there something wrong with me? (I hope I didn’t offend anyone…he’s a really cute baby!)

You know how you always see women gushing over babies, and supposedly seeing someone with a newborn is supposed to make you want your own? Well…I don’t….is that normal? I feel more drawn to have a puppy when I’m with my sister’s dog, than I feel any kind of maternal inclination. Its just not there.

I’ve never discussed babies with my boyfriend, other than our casual conversations that come up with friends. A friend asked me (same nosy friend that always asks those “critical” questions, lol) “so when do you see yourself having children?” Actually, he asked both of us. I responded “I’m not even thinking children at this point. I’m not even sure I should  have children.” The BF doesn’t want children for a while either, but my question for him is….are children a must-have for him?

He always jokes around with me and calls me “Headmistress [QL]” because I can’t stand my cousins children running around. I know they’re kids, but can ‘t they sit still one second?  Does the 1 year old HAVE to have soda “because she wants it”? Or can’t they look at my boyfriend without getting all giggly and making googly eyes at him? Ok, that last part is kinda funny….but I was a pretty darned calm/quiet kid, and so I think they should all be that way. (Yes, I know thats an unreasonable  thought, and yes, family has confirmed that I was quiet, and its not just my imagination, hehe).

I almost feel as though my kids would be tormented with a mother like me. Who knows, I might change as time goes on, but as it is right now I don’t feel as though thats the path I should take. Me as a mother? I don’t know. I think I’d make a much better aunt. 😀


P.S. If you think people have disagreements on how finances should be handled, have you ever witnessed an argument about how child rearing should be handled?!! Geez…now, that is one fight I DON’T want to have!