Well, the BF has stood me up. We were supposed to go to a concert tonight that I have tickets for (and luckily got for free). It turns out that yesterday he got an offer to work for a day or two (his friend needed a replacement) and he accepted it before he realized that he’d have to miss tonight’s concert. While I’m glad he’s glad that he’ll be earning money, I’m a bit pissed and generally a bit “down” about the whole thing. Whatever. I’m going to get over myself and go anyway. I can’t think of anyone I’d want to go with (and that wouldn’t be bored watching an orchestra), so I think I’ll be ok on my own. The only other downside is that its $15 to park, if I remember correctly. (Also, once my dad finds out I’m going on my own he’ll have a fit. The surrounding areas aren’t exactly the best neighborhoods. Leave it to him to make me feel like a 10 year old.)

Its funny that this should happen though. A few weeks ago I was really thinking about how things were when I was away at college. I miss that city a lot. My last two years at school I did a lot of exploringaround the city. I’d set out early on Sunday or Saturday (or any day I ended class early in the day) and I’d hop on our school’s free buses that went into the city. I’d walk, not doing much of anything, walking into interesting shops checking out restaurant menus and such. I didn’t have a car, and at the time I felt as though that was limiting me. Now that I think of it, if I had a car I would’ve never taken the time to get to know those places. I’d have fallen into the trap I’m in now.

I’ve always figured that my “college town” was just that much more exciting than the one I’m currently living in. Every day I realize that there are just as many things going on, just as many places to see here….I’ve just never taken the time to get to know it at that level. I’ve grown up in this city, but I’ve gotten to know it by car. Now that I have my own car I haven’t gotten to know the city better as I would’ve suspected I could (ok, maybe a little), but I most often end up seeing my car as a limitation. Suddenly where I’m going to park my car is a huge deal. (Whereas in college that NEVER crossed my mind.)

I’m rambling a lot. As I was saying, I think its funny this should happen. I used to make an effort to spend a lot of time by myself. Seeing new things, taking them in by myself. Its probably not the best way to think, but I’ve always felt (since we’ve been dating) that the only person I enjoy seeing and sharing new things with is my boyfriend. And since we were in different states that meant I was on my own. Although I wished he was there at the time, I DO miss that experience now of having no one else to worry about. Going anywhere I wanted without making sure he’s not bored or that I’m not forcing or dragging him along. Going to the movies by myself was surprisingly therapeutic. (If you’ve never tried it, DO IT! Its awkward the first time, but afterwards its really rewarding….at least I think so.) I think I mentioned all this when I was having my mini-meltdown a couple months ago, but its easy to get back into old patterns.

So yeah, I’m going to that concert alone tonight. And I’m going to enjoy it.

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