Wait, its not what you think!!

I haven’t changed my mind about nixing the big “wedding day” idea. (Unless by “big wedding day” you mean a big elopement. lol) But hearing everyone talking about wedding planning and the weddings they’ve attended makes me a bit jealous.

You see, when I went off to college I left my hometown for four years. I left all my friends, who I’d previously known for nearly 10 years (the “newest” friend I had, I’d known for 6 years). They went their ways, I went mine. We continued to communicate, but when you don’t see someone in person for long periods of time….well, its very easy to move on.

In the meantime I went to school. I made some friends, but never as close as the ones I once had. When I came back to my hometown and those friends started getting married, well, we weren’t that close. A Facebook congratulations was enough. (My really  close friends….which is really only two, aren’t married or engaged yet.) But still, wouldn’t it have been fun to be there?!

So, I came back to my hometown and I actually tried to rekindle some friendships. Its too hard though. By then most of them had boyfriends, tons of new friends, their interests changed….they moved on. In my head though, I still felt (and feel) like we’re the same people and we should be friends and hang out.

Anyway, my “friends” have started to get married. I haven’t gotten any invitations. Now, if I was in their position….I would probably do the same. We haven’t been true friends in years, and weddings are expensive. Why spend it on people you’re no longer close to?  (Especially when you have dozens of aunts and uncles that you HAVE to invite)

But still, I see them posting their pictures of the weddings and seeing old friends in all the pictures, and I’m all the more jealous.

So no, I don’t want a big bash…..but I want to be invited to more of them!! Does that make me a total hypocrite? lol

Pretty much, but in my defense, I think its the friendships I miss the most. They take me back to times I’ll never have again. =[