Lots has been going on around here, but I wanted to drop this scenario and see what some of you think I should do. I haven’t had much time to think about it apart from last night, and I’m completely clueless about what I should do.
So, last night as the family gathered for a birthday, somehow they got the idea to go on a New Year’s cruise. The last 5 days of the year. Best part: it’s around $300 for two people. Awesome! Except one thing….would the BF go?
I asked him, (and for the record, even offered to pay if money was the issue), and his response was NO! I was heartbroken! He’s currently submitting tons of resumes and is hoping an offer comes through, so his reasoning is that if he’s interviewing or gets a job before the end of the month, he wouldn’t exactly want to tell the new employers “sure, I’ll take the job, but I’ll be gone for a week in December”.
I mean, I understand….it really makes sense, but I don’t want it to.
1) I’ve never been on a cruise, and the family (aunts, cousins, sister) has been on dozens. I’ve always stayed behind (before the passport or work was an issue), but this time it feels like everything is lined up for me to go.
2) I don’t want to have to choose between spending New Year’s with my parents or with the BF. I’m always moody if I’m not with the BF on New Year’s, but I’d probably be resentful if EVERYONE went on a cruise and I stayed behind just because I didn’t want to spend that night away from him.
3) I tried reasoning that if I stay behind this time, I’ll go on a cruise later with the BF. However he’s already gone on a cruise without me (for work….whatev), and if he does get this job, who’s to say he’ll ever have time off again?! I’ll be cruiseless this time, and cruiseless in the future.
4) I’ve also thought: are companies even going to be hiring during the holidays? (He doesn’t work with anything retail related.) I mean, is it realistic for him to think that in two weeks time he’ll get an interview and start working? Or is it more likely that he’d be slated to start after the new year?
For the record, it’s not 100%, but from the sounds of it yesterday they were pretty excited and already checking how many cabins they could get next to each other. So I need to have an idea of what I’ll decide in case they ask me for a decision pretty soon!
So….what do you think? Should I spend New Year’s Eve with my parents, or with the BF? Cruise, or no cruise?!!
And while we’re at it, do you think it’s acceptable for someone to say when they’re hired that they’re already planning to take some time off? Is there an exception during the holidays? Do you even think they’d start someone during the holidays? (In other words: how can I convince the BF to go?!!)
QuarterLife Finances 
December 7, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Either convince him to go… or go without him.
Moody < Resentful
It is perfectly acceptable to say that you have a vacation planned right after you're hired. They probably won't start someone during the holidays, in fact, I'm positive they won't. They will start him in the beginning of the year. It's too busy right now to start a new person, much more time next month.
December 7, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Tom beat me to it, but I’m going to reiterate.
I really do think you should go. You still haven’t been on a cruise, and he has, which is why you are more excited about it. That said, I’ve definitely dipped out on several friend and family vacays because the BF couldn’t go, so I know what you mean. In general, think about where you’d like to remember your New Years. You’ve had New Years with the BF before, this one won’t be too different (no Y2K or anything, lol!), but the cruise. What if you never go again? Good luck and tell us what you do.
Also, I do think it is perfectly acceptable and actually preferred that potential candidates reveal that they are planning to take some time off. Of course, this should only be discussed after the offer is made and negotiations are on the table. But if they liked him enough to make an offer, they won’t mind waiting a week or two for him to start at the company!
December 7, 2009 at 3:48 pm
I’m a 24 yr old career woman, and I just came back from a cruise 2 weeks ago. I wasn’t too thrilled with it. I would suggest that if you go, do something high end, and not something like Carnival or Royal Carribean (unfortunately I was lured in by Carnival’s great deals). I would say that at least 75% of the people on our ship were over 350 lbs and lower income. So unless stretch marks on womens arms are appetizing, do something else. The ship was basically turned into a giant feeding trough. You would see huge people going through the lido deck buffet lines with half a dozen pieces of cake on their tray. Sadly, I am not exaggerating at all. I was so disgusted by the people I was on the ship with that I didn’t like being out in the food or pool areas, which made up about 40% of the ship. There also isn’t that much to do on the ship unless you really like going to clubs, drinking, etc.
If you both want to go and something does come up, you can cancel under some travel insurance policies. For $60 or so you could get one of those, and if he gets an interview/hired, you will be able to get most of your money back.
December 7, 2009 at 4:18 pm
For each of the three full time jobs I’ve held after college, I had a vacation already planned before I accepted each one. When I was offered each of the jobs, I gladly accepted and at the same time outlined the dates of the vacations I already had planned. None of my managers ever had a problem with it, and were in fact glad that I told them before starting. I think your boyfriend should go, besides, how would an employer know if he planned it two weeks or two years earlier, right?
December 7, 2009 at 4:58 pm
@Stephanie…that sounds kind of depressing! However, my family is made up of veteran cruisers, so I either think they travel on different ships, or they have so much fun as a group they don’t really pay attention to others on the ship, because I’ve never heard them mention anything about that. I’ll find out if I go though! lol. On that same note, if I go I’ll be spending that time with the family, so I’m sure I’ll still enjoy it. (They’re a crazy bunch.)
I agree with the rest of you about employers and vacation time….I think the BF is just so worried about sabotaging his chances that he won’t listen to me. We’ll see. maybe now that we’ve both had time to think we can come to some kind of consensus?
I feel a little better about the situation now. Even if the BF doesn’t want to go, I think this may be one of those things I’ll regret for a LONG time if I don’t go. You never know how much time you have left with your family, and I’d hate to miss out on those memories.
I’ll keep you all updated!
December 7, 2009 at 9:47 pm
I think it’s highly unlikely that a company would want him to start the last week of December. That’s a pretty dead time at most companies, so they would probably delay his start date until after the new year.
I would go anyway, regardless if he wants to go. Then again, I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise.
December 7, 2009 at 10:38 pm
I agree with most of the other commenters. As a past hiring manager, I can tell you there’s no problem with new hires letting us know (at the time of acceptance) of their vacation plans.
Second, go without the BF if he won’t relent. I’ve gone on family cruises with and without Mr. Boomer. I had fun both ways.
December 8, 2009 at 1:04 am
I think you should go on the cruise even if you can’t convince him to join you. But make definite plans to celebrate with him before you go.
I don’t think employers are planning any new hires to start before the New Year and I think its totally acceptable for him to say that he had a prior commitment. Its only a week.
Go and enjoy yourself! I’d love to hear about how much fun you had!
December 8, 2009 at 9:29 am
Cruise it up! I have been watching prices on Carnival cruises myself lately. I’d go with or without your BF, especially if you have other family going. His reasoning sounds less like he’s hoping for an interview/offer and more like he just doesn’t want to go on a trip with you and your family.
Even if he gets an interview by around Thanksgiving, I doubt he’ll start before the new year. I started the job (web programmer) I have now on Jan 5th of last year. I interviewed early November.
Enjoy yourself!
December 8, 2009 at 10:07 am
lol….Simon, trust me, if he didn’t want to go with the family he’d tell me. (He’s done it before with other invitations.) He’s been unemployed/freelancing for a while, and just now job postings are starting to show up, so I just think he doesn’t want anything to ruin his chances of getting a job.
I thought maybe money would’ve been a factor, but for $150 I told him I’d pay….although who knows, maybe he wouldn’t want to accept the money.
Either way, I haven’t heard from the family again, so it may not be happening afterall.
December 8, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Go on the cruise! I’ve never been, but I know people who are just obsessed with them.
BF probably won’t start work until after the new year anyway. Even if he does, they often are OK with previously planned vacations – I told my new bosses that 2 months into my new job I’d be taking 2 weeks vacation for my honeymoon!
December 8, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Upon offer of employment a couple years ago, I informed a new employer of an upcoming weeklong trip. There was absolutely no problem with it.
I concur with others who say it is unlikely he will begin working before the end/beginning of the year. All the HR/accounting departments are too busy getting their end of year financials and tax information together on existing employees, not to mention all the company holiday parties and time off people take during the holidays. There is just too much going on at the end of the year for most companies to take on a new employee.