I think I just finished my resume. Of course, I still have to wait and see what my “proof readers” will say, but my big push is over.

It was….a LOT harder than I thought it would be. Not only technically, but emotionally*. I looked at a lot of “sample” resumes, but out of all the ones I saw only 2 were actually helpful (and I just happened to find them last night on my college’s career services page….why didn’t I check there first?!), and they made me feel extremely….inadequate. My “experience” seems so limited, so useless. (The rational side of me tries to point out that the only reason why I feel inadequate is because I’m comparing my “entry level” resume with resumes for people with 10+ years experience….but still…)

It’s also amazing how quickly you forget what you’ve done over the past 3.5 years. I’d sit down one day, then remember “oh wait, I did [such and such] task as well!” Then I’d have to remember to put that back in the next time. Those days were encouraging, at least.

Granted, the resume I just finished assumes that I’m still looking work closely related to what I was doing before. It’s very technical, and if someone in a different industry were to read it, well, it’d be useless. (Which is why I felt kind of ambivalent about sending it out for people to read it. Only one of the people I sent it to actually works in my industry.) I worked on it a little bit at a time over the past few weeks, and every time I’d get frustrated….wondering if this is really what I want. I also can’t shake the feeling that, well, anyone can do what I’ve been doing. Why would they hire someone from outside if they can just train a secretary they already have to learn a few technical words here and there? I’m not sure how true that is, there has to be a reason why I was getting paid well…..otherwise I’d be getting paid like the secretaries.

[FYI, there are NO job postings at all for my position online. Everything I’ve seen is for upper levels/leads, which is way beyond my ability right now. I shouldn’t be surprised, I was told this would happen….which means I need to hit my personal connections hard!]

Anyway, I realize that if I don’t end up finding anything in this industry, or if I decide to apply for some jobs not directly relating to my former industry I’m going to have to change up my resume to reflect “skills” and not just “tasks”. That’s going to be a whole other head/heart ache…but I might as well start working on it now, right?

[sigh]

Possible TMI alert: *I’m well aware that part of the mood swings you detect (both stated, and implied through my writing) are likely due to my highly emotional state right now. Each month I’ve found myself getting moodier and moodier, and yet I’m not sure if it’s because my pills are no longer controlling those hormones enough anymore, or if stress and circumstance is just magnifying their effect? Either way, this sucks. I’m off to exercise and see if that’ll fix me…

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