After my last post, I really felt that I needed to bring myself back down a little bit. You see, this happens every time….I see a tiny glimmer of hope and I latch on to it. Suddenly, I see a light and I start imagining all the possibilities, I can see an end to my suffering, things start looking up. It always hurts when I have to come back to reality and face the fact that there’s a much greater chance of things going on as they have been….
Yes, I did get an interview. There’s something to be celebrated about that. However I have to remind myself that an interview doesn’t mean a thing. (Although it was nice to hear that someone thought I had a good resume.)
It’s funny how my thinking has evolved these past 8 months. At first I was feeling a bit rebellious. I was NOT ready to go back to work. The corporate world could go screw itself! The industry could collapse into a pile of rubble. I didn’t give a crap! Then I came to terms that perhaps it was time for me to part with that career. No one was to blame. It was a natural separation. For the best. Now….I feel I’m in a weird position. I don’t feel ready to say goodbye to my career and my formal education. I’m ready to give it another shot. I miss my steady income. I miss playing around with my spreadsheets, planning my next savings goal, treating myself to certain things without the intense guilt. In short, I miss my old lifestyle.
So, if things tomorrow don’t work out…..if the interview is a complete disaster, I’m going to try my best to NOT be crushed. This is a stepping stone. Perhaps a sign of more good things to come?